Is having a better life outside my comfort zone? Am I so used to failure that I sabotage any chance at a better living even though I want one? I can’t help asking why don’t I do better. With no reply. I guess I’m so obsessed with finding the reason so that I can control the reason that I’m not sure I’ll allow myself to grow into an improved life without finding it.

I feel like the stakes are pilling up. I’ve come so far since my youth. Yet I still do the opposite of what I tell myself to do in-order to have better, do better, or be a better me. People have long changed their lifestyles to meet their needs. Why can’t I? I don’t understand how I can be so sick of singing the same sad, whoa is me song, only to keep living the same words over again.Why? Why ? Why? I don’t make sense to me.


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