I managed to accomplish the task I was afraid to do, but I expected more from me. I paid the bill for now. I expected myself to set up future bills and payment. I didn’t I’m guessing I didn’t simply due to fear. That was the only thing I took care of for the last two days. I binged my parents Netflix instead. *Shame head shake*.

I want a better life. I want more. I want to do more. I dream of more. I picture a better life. I picture a better me. I look to life where my whole family works out. Where my mate, kids and I are Masters at martial arts. Where we go on daily adventures. Where we are active and having fun. This pretty little picture of a life that feels as if it will never be, shows my only concerns to be the issues that come up with business that we run. Other people get to live a life where the create their dreams come true, why can’t I? Oh. Yeah. I sleep, eat, and watch Netflix with my youngest.

I’m not happy with it but I’m so used to it that I know how to handle the ins and out of it’s daily issues. I’ve trained in the arts of the unaccomplished. I’ve read in magazines make it or break it stories. They tell how people have gone from deeps of not a happy life, to living ultra rich and famous lifestyles. These mag. may write in a sentence or two describing,” in two years later I living a successful meaningful life,”, with out telling the day to day failures and achievements.

Slowly it is dawning on me that I need to write my own life manual. If I don’t I can watch my life get torn down so that I can rebuild it over and over and over and over and over……………………………again.

So. Um yeah. My goal is less than 20 days to perform a miracle life makeover before I get my two oldest ones from their dad’s.  Go ahead and tally up votes down in the comment. Will I change my life for the better? Or will I slip into my old habits of life? Odd are against me. not that we are betting for money.


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