I have this firm belief that fear shouldn’t tell me what to do. That’s what my brain believes is the logical course of action. so when this overwhelming task of responsibility comes my way, why do I shut down like a deer in the headlights?

My two eldest live with their father for the school year in another state. I am obligated to pay child support. It wouldn’t be a big thing is only I let my job go to run my business. I understood that I took a larger than I was comfortable to take risk. There was no money to pay child support. I now have tax return. I have to make that last till I can generate suffice income. My intent is to pay this bill. It’s the amount this incurs that I have difficulty with.

I have so many points on this issue that I can’t even organize at this time.I know I have to settle something and soon. They no longer have debtor’s prisons. Now days you go to the same jail as every one else. And I agree I should pay. but I need to be responsible and communicate with them my situation to reach a fair amount. Yet I still have fear that they are not going to be reasonable on their end and I end up unable to accomplish a better business and a better life with providing better for all my children.

I have dreams of accomplishing a better life for them and I need to act faster or show a better business plan. I can do this. I’m not incapable despite my disabilities. That’s what I tell me anyways. I tried to draw out about my fears on here so that I may over come them a little easier. Thank you everyone for letting me get this out.


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