So the basement is still a mess. Oh well! The important part is not to stress on what didn’t happen, but what I’m going to do now. I am left wondering what skill am I lacking that makes it hard to get something done. My goal was to clean the basement before the snow melted so that if for some reason the basement shall leak again it won’t be such overwhelming mayhem of all that stuff getting ruined.

Good news; the basement is dry! So now I need to work on it today. No i,f ands, or butts about it. No exemptions! I have in the back of my mind other pending work. Like next month I have an event I’m going to that I would like to rank in martial arts that I signed up for and paid for via the internet. I haven’t worked on it. and I don’t want to fail.

My eldest daughter has a birthday in 10 days. My plan is to take a trip to go see her at her father’s. I need to get ready for that. It all weighs on my mind. These tasks push on my mind to get ready all at once. It nips at my heels with urgency. Piles up insurmountable into a mountainous task.

The logical part of my mind says, “no. this is easy stuff. you can do it. why are you worried? just do it get it done.” My body on the other hand just shuts down. I don’t understand where the conflicts lies. Whats wrong with me? I don’t give up hope. I wonder, I do i feel like I don’t deserve this? a good life?

A part of me is like I can do it! I know I need to priorities and most likely put a time limit and schedule it. A small goal then. I should write it down. Wish me luck.


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