This last year I have not been proud of myself. I understand depression had a lot to do with the fact that I didn’t accomplish anything. I slept a lot. I slept so much that I feel like I let life pass me by. I tried moving out of my parent’s house. I simply can’t afford that. I switched to a job that I like much more. I wished I could have spent more time with my kids that their dad has custody of.
This year my goal is custody of my kids. First I have to beat this depression or I can’t be much of a mother for them. Depression is difficult and when you get ready to face life when you start to come back to life you are faced with a gigantic mess from trying to put life on hold. The biggest mess facing you is the housework that I never had energy to do. The guilt that you let this mess get so big is a trap. Worry not about how it got so bad but how I going to clean it. Organize it and overcome it. I will not let fear tell me what to do or not do but rather I will tell fear what to do.
Fear is not knowing. And this I know; Nothing complicated exist without smaller components. I shall break this house work into smaller easier bits. Writing things down is an amazing way of making overwhelming problems smaller. I will write down each thing that needs done. and separate these tasks out.
Wish me luck. I shall clean and organize my house and room so that I may face the new year with less overwhelming messes standing between me and my goals.